Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in synisterryda23's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, November 12th, 2006
3:59 am	Alone again, where I began I honestly can't belive how bad she messed up my head. I had every intention of being with her forever. She brought out the best in me, and now, i'm alone. Wondering why. Despite the explanations, it still isn't clear. How can you go from being as in love with someone as she was with me(atleast I think she was), and I with her, to not caring about them at all. Not even a word. It's like she just forgot the last 16+ months and decided to to not remember. I'm not even worth speaking to at this point. There was a time when all we had was each other. There was a time when we were each others world. There was a time when she loved me. And then, there is now. She's with someone else, and i'm still trying to get over her. Keyword, "trying"... as sad as it is. I feel like i'll never have what we had again. I wanted her to be the mother of my children. She was the part of me that I could never seem to find within myself, that made me.... well, me. She would rub my back, and it was heaven, as pathetic as it is, that's all it took. She cared enough about me to touch me, and now she doesn't even care enough about me to speak to me. I realize it's almost 4 AM, and no one will read this, much less care, but it's what i'm feeling right now, and if I don't put it down, i'll lose it. I already am. She's the only reason i'm still awake. She's the reason I haven't slept right for over a month. She's the reason work seems so much longer, because seeing her was something I could actually look forward to. And now, here I am,...... walking down that broken road, God led me straight down, just to be alone again. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
10:50 am	The Synister Life Stylz L.P Well, it's almost time 2 record. HyPnO and myself are heading into the studio within the next few weeks to begin, and hopefully finish, the Synister Life Stylz L.P. We had originally intended to only record about 10 tracks and put out an E.P, but after sorting through some old or lost lyric books,getting in some SERIOUS rehearsal time, and accumulating new beats, we have about 20 tracks, if not more, that we can do! I'm so f'n psyched about FINALLY recording with HyPnO after over 3 years of planning, writing, e.t.c. We're hoping to have a final copy by late January to mid-February. I can tell you right now, we're going to pimp this disc for all that it's worth. I myself have a few solo tracks, HyPnO with his classic joint "Concious Surgery", of course classics like D.O.A, Addiction, and Synister Life Stylz, plus some completly new and strictly D-L tracks that we've been working on in secret. Synister Myndz is coming, and all I can say to the world is....You're Not Safe...... you'll get it soon enough Peace, iLLuZioN Make sure to check out the G.A.V mix tape, out now 3:19 Grimesville Current Mood: PumpT Current Music: Tech N9ne-Einstein (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
10:00 pm	Thinking..... You ever have days where you really miss someone? I'm sure everyone does. I wish Gramp could be here. I wish he could have been there yesterday, being 1st day of senior year. I wish he could be there Prom Night. More than anyting, I wish he could be at Graduation. I don't know where all this came from, but it's been hitting me lately. I guess I really just miss him. All my life I never had a dad But you were right there, guiding me down the path Giving me the things I would have never had Even though it's hard now, that you've passed I still move on trying not to be sad I had you in my life, I thank God for that And I just hope that I can be Half the man you had to be Rest in Peace Ashley Strand Fowler December 7, 1934 June 22, 2003 I Miss You More Than Anyone Could Ever Know Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Father Figure: Q-Strange (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
9:42 am	Whut What Wat Wut Up?! It's been a second since I last updated. I really don't even know why I am now....yes I do... bordom.And i'm kinda pissed at myself. There's one week left of vacation, and we (Justin & I) haven't done Jack or $hit when it comes to recording. I know I've written some verses here and there, and done some other stuff, trying to make connections and what not. But damn, I feel like i've wasted this summer. Aside from chillen with My Baby(<3) and occasionaly having an AsyLuM "party", I really haven't done much over the summer. I wish I had. But damn, there's been some good times. Well, it's senior year, so it's time to move. I gotta make some moves, cuz Gazunitz doesn't seem like he wants to do much. Rizz got out, and I've only seen him once, but I know he's still spittin. Mat's tryna get to a studio to make a solo album, with real beats and everything, so i'm gonna see if we can try with him. I guess my rants over, cuz Im not sure what else to say. I'm out Peace, Bashaw I snort lines of gunpowder and exhale gun smoke I'm straight with the coke, i'd rather toke with my folk I'm broke as a joke, but i'm never cliche Better watch what you say, I'd rather spray the A-K Don't play, I'm not a playa, i'm a Synner in black Fuck a rat, got a gat and a bat to attack Fat sack of dro and this ho wanna blow So, it's time to go, I'm breakin out this Death Row Foes never last cuz i'm fast to blast Their chips get cashed if my name gets trashed Crashed and burned, still here, but never learned You ain't got no witness so im not concerned I turned the table, wanna hear a Grim Fable Click on the news, call me mentally unstable My cable disconnected, so you chumps that disrespected This sound is infected with the evil I injected It's projected, prophesized, Armagedon, Catalyzed Hell on Earth, Rebirth of demented and Demonized So despized by the holy, they set forth a crusade To terrorize, terminate, obliterate as we prayed Decayed and defiled, decrpit and exiled This is what's left of My mothers final child I dialed 9-1-1, and saw the Twin Towers fall Tried to dial "our leader" but he won't accept the call Appaul, horrify, war pigs glorify Blood of my brothers runs down my cheek as I cry I try to make sense of this world so cold That's why I keep the heat so close in my hold I was told I sold my soul in exchange for my death But the Devil can't make good on tryna steal my breath What's left isn't right, what's right you say is wrong From now to infinite, we begin it, we belong Current Mood: determined Current Music: Esham-All Night Every Day (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
10:19 pm	If you're reading this then I finally did it I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye There was no time Understand I was stressed Living day to day was hard and I gave it my best But there was nothing left For me in this world to convince me to stay Now I'm long gone away Don't you do that, don't you start those tears Just remember all the time we spent over the years Never cry, never think bad of me What's done is done and that's the way that it had to be I need you to be strong for me Say a prayer every day in my memory I'm sure it's helping me To earn my feathers, to get some wings And a halo and a harp and angelic things And even though I'm gone and outta sight Never worry about me, I'm alright. -Jamie Madrox (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
11:46 pm	Currently untitled. Felt like making an entry. Yeah, if u didn't get it from the subject, this is a verse I have. And yes, it is currently untitled. I try to fly, but my wings are broken Depression hittin hard and I find myself smokin Tokin and chokin on the pain and lies I'm soaked, I'm drenched in the tears my angel cries My skies are black, but once were blue I pray for a way, but don't know what to do Too many nights, I close my eyes and run The sins of the father, passed on to the son I'm done with living and i'm done with life I release the pain from my vein with a knife A wife, some kids, and a house in the burb I'm stuck with a bottle, in the gutter on the curb Herbs and rocks melt away in my pipe My nose starts to bleed, so I roll my sleeve and wipe Ripe age of seventeen and i'm wasting away I just lie down and watch night become day Pray to God, I can only ask why? Why can't I live? Why can't I die? High in Hell, I was above but I fell I can only live long enough to tell Bells toll on, ringing through my mind In this land of true beauty, open wide and i'm blind Climbed to the top, was so good and pure But was drawn in by the Devils alure Doors locked up in my heart and in my soul All these years all alone has taken its toll Holes in my arm from inserting the syringe These voices sending me on a pain binge Cringe at my sight, i've tried to fight But the Darkness takes over and i'm one with the night Bite my lip, drag the blade across my arm Adrenaline rush, i'm tryna stay calm Bombs fall from the sky instead of rain The steel cuts thorugh, life released from my vein Kain lived, Abel died, absolution been denied My Demons told me of beauty, but they lied I tried to repent, but to no avail I knew from day one, I was born to fail There's nothing left, so why fight death? I hope for his touch in between every breath Feedback please?..... yeah, i'm just that bored.... Current Mood: + Meh Current Music: The Beat I'm Using For The Verse (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
12:33 am	Damn. Never thought it could happen to me I'm in love. As simple as can be. She understands me. She knows where i'm commin from. She doesn't question me. She knows what i've been through. She doesn't care. This is as real as I could imagine. I couldn't dream of a more perfect person I could be with. I Love You Chelsea Alyse Volkers Forever & Always Always & Forever Current Mood: ecstatic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
6:06 pm	What A Day Well, i'll just start at the begining. Skip and Mandy left for Florida this mornin. Me, Gram, and Nicole dropped em off at the bus station around 10:30. We got home, and I eventually got ahold of Chelsea :-) She said that Jenna was gonna pick us up and we(Me,Chels,Jenna,& Barlow) were gonna go out to lunch. SOunds like a fool proof plan, right? HAHAHA, you didn't actually believe that, did you? Jenna ended up screwein around for a few hours, doing God knows what. She got to my house at about 2:15. Chelsea had to be at work for 3. See the problem? We were gonna go to Pizza Hut for lunch, but that would've taken too long, so we just went to Sals, which worked out cuz Chelsa works at Dots, about 20 feet away. I got to hang out with My Baby :-D! its been, like a week! I wanna chill with her tomorrow too, but we'll have to see what happens. After Chels went to work, I got Jenna to take us to Earwax. I was going to see if Ron had Man's Myth in, but nope. But, this was good for 2 reasons. One, I didn't have enuff Scrilla Fo Rilla to get it anyway. Two, I ended up gettin Freek Show, which i've needed for like 2 months. And, I got 3 dope-ass movies! Evil Dead, Red Dragon, and Bill & Teds Exellent Adventure! 2 bucks a piece. Now thats a deal. When I get some more cash i'm gonna go back and stock up. After that, Barlow decided he wanted some Vanilla Coke. So Jenna stopped at Wal-Mart, and we got ome. A 12-pack. Well, we walked out the door at Wally World, and its POURING! Like f'n buckets. So, deciding to not use the ever present "common sense" and havin Jenna get the van and pull it to the tentrence, Me, Barlow, and Jenna decide to make a run for the van. We couldn't have gotten more than 15 feet when Barlow dropped the case of soda, and they went EVERYWHERE! So now, we're scrambling for Coke cans, tryna not get soaked. We Failed. We got friggen DRENCHED!!We finally get into the van, soaked head to toe. We all take our shirts off, and dry off with one of Jennas mysterious "sun-screen" towels. Well, we got back to my house, and I let them borrow some flicks for tonight. Ummmm, I just watched Bill & Teds Exellent Adventure. "You killed Ted you medieval dickweed!"... Classic, right Jenna? Well, here I am. Listenin 2 Freek Show :-D Hopefully gonna chill in The AsyLuM tonight with sum homeez. I'm outtti Peace, Bashaw If it ain't green, it ain't us Your parents hate us because we smell like cannabis And remind them of the incubus Another freak of the night With excisable roach clips, bongs, and weed pipes We comin' with the straight 28 A full OZ only fuckin' with the weed You can keep the nosebleed Bash on you haters actin' like you know me Twiztid muthafucka what you got on my tree? I smoke it down to the ash Burning lips and finger tips On for helly shit and take no bullet and passin' it Right to the ashtray where it belongs From the bag to the j to the drape to the bong Smoke alotta weed, cloud nine Space flying People try to front like I don't But I can see it inside them Put the flame on the end of the weed and start the session And I'ma smoke it all up quick without a question Eyes blue out red I'm lookin' faded Clothes stank like bud And my finger tips is always resonated We burnin' ganja with the windows up I got a q.p a good green rub ready to puff We smokin' entirely to much trees for average folks But I never said that I was average I like to smoke mad bags of weed No stems, no seeds All I really want and all I really need I gotta tell you bitches It ain't no smokin' for free If you ain't fuckin' with me Don't put your lips up on my muthafuckin' tree Wreck us around us, like a zig zag Light your whole block with a flame and take a big drag We blaze trees on the highways in the driveways In a casket I keep an axe and a fat sack with the zig zags With a 2 blunt trademark trees every studio session we gettin' sparked We smoke weed everyday Regardless what you say And every single night with the get right You need to get up and shut up with all that pride And all you non smokin' niggas get the fuck outside Only weed smokers up this bitch tonight Thick clouds of weed smoker green like kryptonite I don't drink, shoot up or take x Only three loves in life is bud, death, and sex Gimme gimme green leafs laced up with hashish When your ridin' dirty, watch for police Listen and learn cuz I would never stir you wrong Knowledge is accumelated like resons in bongs Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Twiztid-Empty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
6:51 pm	What A Darn Good Day! Well, I can honestly say that today has been good, except for one thing which i'll cover later. My Baby picked me up at about 7:20 this mornin, do to car trouble. Ok, 1st period I had my History final. Holy crap, was it easy. 30 matching-vocab(which i'm positive I got all right) and 7 short answer, which was really easy as well. After that I was supposed 2 go to my creative-writing final, but I didn't do it, so I went to the media lab and hung around 4 awhile. After school, Me,Chelsea(<3),& Barlow met with Jenna and MoJo and we went to Barlow's so he could get swim trunks, then we came here, just to kill some time. I got to snuggle with My Baby while Barlow used the comp. Then Gram walked in, and i'd be lying if I said i wasn't a little nervous. But, she didn't seem to mind, so that was a relief. I asked if I could have some people over to go for a swim, and to my surprise, she didn't mind at all. So, Jenna show'd up(minus one MoJo), and Me and Barlow went back 2 Chelseas with her. We hung around there, and I got to cuddle with My Baby some more :-D and then we picked up Felecia and came back here and took a swim. It Was GREAT! the water was a little cold, but it wasn't too bad. Plus, I got to be with My Girl, so it was that much better. We dried off and got dressed and went back to Chelseas to make some pizza. This is where it gets a little dicey. I don't wanna think about it too much, but Mum wasn't in a great mood, and we(barlow,jenna,me, and felecia) had to go. Jenna dropped me off, and Me and Gram went to Dunks. We got a couple of coffees for about 87 cents( Thank You Heather :-) ) Came home, didn't do much til' I, for some unknown reason, decided to start lookin at my old pictures. I look nothin like I used to. I was so small, and blonde, and had long hair. Oh well. Ummm, I made some steak for me and Ernie. It was good. Now, here I am. I guess Mum wasn't too mad, and everythings ok now :-) Well, thats about it. Last day of school tomorrow! I'm Out Dis Peece! Much Luv, Bashaw Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Anybody Killa-Way We Roll (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 18th, 2005
10:50 pm	I don't care what anyone thinks I'm in Love, str8 up. Simple as can be, yet more complcated than anything.Im probably gonna catch more crap than a porter-pody cleaner for this, but I really don't care. You were my 1st love, but time took over You're a part of my life, I couldn't look over I miss you so much, when we're not together But I know in the end, it's You & Me Forever We were so young, just kids at the time You were the only person I trusted with my rhyme Chimes on the porch, holding you so tight I never want to let go, I've lived for this night You're my light, in this life of dark When the shadows surround, you're my spark I see you smile, it's pure ecstasy I don't care where we are, as long as you're next to me Current Music: Whatever game Skips playing (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
8:39 pm	For her... This ones for you babe. I really don't know what to say. I love you, and always will. I'm sooo happy that you've come back into my life, I'm never lettin go. I love you Chelsea :-D Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Zug Izland-Feel (2 Comments |Comment on this)
8:06 pm	Yuuuuup For the 1st time in a while, shit seems to be going good. Despite the lack of job and funds, Synister Myndz has done quite a bit lately. Me and HyPnO have the Synister Life Stylz EP planned, with about 7 songs, but probably more. so far we have "Synister Life Stylz","DOA","Addiction","Anthem of a Synner",& a currently untitled song, but it's about a special little plant that's helped us out through some hard times. But, there will also be some solos. HyPNo's got a sick joint called "Concious Surgery". HyPNo's a metal-hed, and this songs got a sick riff throughout the whole thing. If anyone listens to underground rap(NonPhixion) then you may recognize the beat. Right now, i'm putting on the track "Suicyde", which from what I understand, the Synnaz around here are feeling it. I might put on a solo track or two from the "BioCyDe" EP I did with DelTa-NiNe a few months back, but i'm not sure. I also might be working with my homie Bill on a side project soon. I'd like to take a lighter approuch to this project, but we'll see what happens. Ok, i'm gonna make another update in a minute with a more relative subject to my personal life, but I really wanted to get that out. Ok, until next time Peace, Bashaw Current Mood: naughty Current Music: Twiztid- Story of our Lives (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
5:02 pm	Just Becuz Well, I haven't updated this thing in a few months.... meh. I usually don't have much 2 say, so thats my excuse... and i'm lazy. Well, i'm just puttin this up cuz now someone, besides Chris, may read it. Well, this is 4 u, but I won't use any names ;-) Anyway, not much happenin with me. Still tryna record this shit. I'm stuck the next 3 weekends preparing for the wedding. But, I am the bestman, So I gotta do all dis. After that, im gonna try n get us all up 2 Exeter so we can record with Silly Willy Dow. Most of all I wanna get the Synister Life Stylz EP done. Fuckin 3 years in the making, but we have all the songs written with beats n shit. should be from 6 to 10 tracks. Maybe some solos here and there, we'll see. Ummm, in the last month or 2 someone very special to me has come back into my life. We lost touch after 8th grade, but this time, i'm gonna make sure we don't. Again, no names, but she knows who she is. It's hot as hell 2day, but we got the pool open, so it's all good. Well, i'll just leave this with some words from Twiztid, becuz there is NOTHING like Twiztid. Oh ya, Man's Myth-June 26th. This song,"Story of our Lives" is FUCKIN INCREDIBLE! If you really wanna hear a sick song, download it. Well, i'm out. Much Luv 2 all my homies. Peace, Chris Brand new, brand muthafuckin' new Every MC in the vicinity bumped to number two Comin' out like freek shows And all y'all hoes that don't know Y'all catch elbows, and get holes Bitch you don't understand the Dark Carnival The misunderstood realm of all juggalos Called freek shows And made fun of 'em everyday But when we return with axes y'all bitches run away I'm a warlock, walk on water with wicked spells Banished to purgatory, borderline of heaven and hell See me for all that I am, and all that I do The multiple man appear in multiples of two Evolution of the soul took place in the cocoon And we appear from the shadow by the light of the moon We the night breed walkin' amongst the dead Nobody can figure out what's goin' on inside of our head -Twiztid "Mutant X" I took a look at myself and came to grips with what I found It was a vision of a child, disturbed and broke down No soul, no heart because I have it away No time for feeling sorry, I'll grieve another day And all those tears are stored in storm clouds That hover above me and cover the ugly Continued to haunt me when I was feeling low That's the same reason I hold on and never let go -Twiztid "Afraid of Me" Juggalo lives are full of complications Are raised to survive on a street education Always realize that there is a limitation If we don't school life with a fresh occupation Without society there's no communication We feel a lot of hate, a lot of frustration But we are driven by the realization That we don't wanna be a sheep in this population So we ascend through the madness without a fall As we climb our way to the gates of Shangri-La Living life can leave your mind in a twirl When you're stuck in the middle of a mad mad world -Jumpsteady "Mad Mad World" Current Mood: horny Current Music: Twiztid-Story Of Our Lives (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
1:58 pm	My 10th Show! OK, I'll just start at the beginning. Yesterday started off really shitt. Me and Skip didn't think that we'd be able 2 go to the show cuz of the snow and his wipers broke. So we hit China Buffet, and chilled at the house 4 awhile. Then I get a call from Gazunis, who seems to have a good plan. Him, Bova, and Kayla all really wanted 2 go, obviously. Bova got the boat, I mean the Lincoln for the night, and we were saved. They didn't come until a little past 7, but that ended up being good, cuz the roads were clear and we got there just as the Filthee Immigrants were getting off. Jumpsteady played a sick set, but you could tell he was nervous. He played "Mad Mad Mad World" so I kinda lost it. I Fuckin LOVE that song. He also played "Amy's Ghost," which is one of my favorite songs off of Master of the Flying Guillotine. Lavel got the crowd hyped up really well. Next was ABK, and as always his set was SIQ! He played a really good mix of Hatchet Warrior and Dirty History songs. He played "Hey Yall" which really got me goin. The wait between the sets was really short cuz everyone had the same stage setup, which was really good. Next up was Blaze, sportin the throwback Bulls "Jordan 23" jersey. He played a NASTY set, ironically enough, played "Nasty" along with "Dead Body Man 02'" "Shotgun" and a lot of crazy tracks from 1 Less G and Colton Grundy. Blaze also did a Twiztid song, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. I sang everyword to it, but now I can't remember it. When he played "Hatchet Luv" there was a little pit right next to me, and it got kinda ugly. So when it broke up, I stepped in the middle of the empty circle right as Blaze started the part "Throw Ya Hatchets Up" and I was throwin em up and he looked right at me alone in that circle. I got PSYCHED AS FUCK when he played "Thug 4 Life" and I threw up a lighter. Then Esham came out. His set was decent, but it was really short. He played "Slug Froma 45" from Closed Casket which was freshhh. Me and Bova got the same shirt. It's a Hatchetman running with the Flying Guillotine and on the back there's a small blade logo with the letters MOTFG. I got a tour poster too. It's really small compared 2 most posters, but its fresh. The roads were clear as we could have hoped for coming home, but there was a little oops. I was lookin for a tape in Bovas glovebox and he went to look for it to and we slid a little bit, into a snow bank, but no problems. Me and Skip got home around 12:45. When we got in the house, I could hear something weird. I looked downstairs and one of the water pipes on the furnace was pouring water out. We got Gram up and pumped the water out and cleaned up, etc. It could have been a lot worse, but we took care of it. I went to bed around 2 or 3 this morning, and woke up to Skip puling on my toes, which were handgun off the bed. We watched CKY 4 and I made breakfast. " I like my bacon and my eggs... Kool Aid Red!" LOL, old school. Anyway, here I am, tired as fuck, burnin CDs for Bova and thinking about last night. GOD DAMN THAT WAS PPPHHRESSSSHHHHHHH! well, that's all for now. Chris will be happy, now that he's got sumpthin 2 read. I'm Out! Peace, Chris Much Mutha Fuckin Twiztid Serial Killin Fat Kid Juggalo Clown Luv! p.s. MUCH FUCKIN LUV TO MY HOMIEZ GAVUNIS, BOVA, AND KAYLA! I'LL NEVER FORGET LAST NIGHT. AND TO THE GUY IN THE YELLOW SHIRT TOSSIN PEOPLE AROUND IN THE PIT, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! IT TAKES A BIG MAN TO START A FIGHT WITH A LITTLE KID. Current Mood: Hyped! Current Music: Blaze-Hatchet Luv (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
5:21 pm	Just an Update I really don't have much of anything to say. At the moment, I am listening to Terror Wheel,... Sick. Counting down to Saturday, Psychopathic All-Stars Tour! Fuckin Blaze, ABK, Jumpsteady, and Esham.... HOLY SHIT! I heard the Filthee Immigrants are gonna be there too, which is fresh. Atleast Society 1 won't be there. Oh, for the record, Yesterday was freshhhh as hell. John-Boi n' Gazunis stopped by after school, outta no where. They came in, we burned a few bowls, chilled for a minute, just freshhh. It was The Shit, str8 up. They're my homies until tha E-N-D! Alrite, that's about it Much Fat Kid Luv Peace, Chris P.S I hope your happy mister C. ILU Crystal ;-) Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Insane Clown Posse-The Smog (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
8:10 pm	I'M BACK BABY! That's right, after almost a year or no updates, here I is! Not one person will read this, but who cares! The fact is that Chris, my Atlantian friend said I should do this, and seein how I am with peer pressue.... HEYYYYYYY ;-D SO anyway, I honestly have nothing to say, so I will let that be that. Until I return, same Fat Time, same Fat Channel Peace, Chris Current Mood: (and horny) Current Music: Jumpsteady-Thirteenth Skull (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
10:56 pm	Just thinkin n shit.... Just thinkin. Not about anything important i guess. typical teenage melodrama shit that will pass.Talkin 2 my Huggy Bear. Thinkin about all kinds of shit,but its its 2 much for now, i guess. Wishin i could open up 2 sum1, but thats just not my style.Thinkin bout Gramps, how much I miss him.How distant from my friends I Really am.But,it will pass.Feeling alone.Wish i could just get out like a normal person, n do shit with my friends.But im always stuck in this same damn house, day in and day out.ITS DRIVING ME FUCKIN KRAZY!!! I keep thinkin that all this shit built up in me is just gonna pop all at once, n its gunna be at sum1 that I love for real.but, it will pass.Well, im out like the Curse. Peace, Chris Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Dark Lotus:I wanna Die/Twiztid:Renditions of Reality (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
9:09 pm	Just Shit Lately........... Been a while since I updated this, and it will probably be longer before I update it again, so I guess i'll make this one long enough to last for all of my adoring fans... yea right. Anyway, today ,as was since the last time I updated, just a normal shit day. About 2 weeks ago Me,Mat,Rizz, & Reggie and John from ECOG did a track together.I used my Busta Bitches verse, but regretted it soon after, wishing I had used a verse I wrote a while ago that went with the song much better.Hopefully I'll get a chance to re-record it next week during vacation.Speaking of which, my old homie Chris is comin up from "F"Atlanta to chill with me and our boyz.Fun shit. Lets see....I've been working alot on writing for my solo album, but there's 2 different directions that I want to take. The 1st is the one I've been wanting to do for a long time now called "Black Star Theory". It will be a more or less slow, melotic, deep, and almost auto-biographical record that will tell a story as well. Take songs like Twiztid's"Renditions of Reality" or Q-Strange's"Can't Take No More". I want that to be the vibe of the whole album. Th other solo I wanted to record will be using my OvErKiLL persona, called "Blood Money".I want this to be straight ruthless,crazy,gory, str8 up pissed off style shit. This idea came to me the other night when I was watchin a sick movie caled "Training Day". Denzel Washington's character is one of the most ruthless characters i've seen in a realistic movie ever.That's how I want to do this album.But I don't know how well i'll do with this, as it's more or less CritiKaL's approuch to music, and I sometimes have trouble writing these style lyrics. But the main thing that i'm thinkin about is that I want "Black Star Theory" to be done professionally, with no jacked beats and in a real studio.I want this album to be the thing people will remember me for once i'm gone.I want it to touch people and make them feel what I feel each and every time they listen to it.So far i've got one song done called "My Darkness", but I want it to be a slow rock song, so i'm talkin to different bands about doing the instruments on it. Anyway, i'm gettin yelled at by my Peanut, so I guess i'm out. Peace and Much Luv! Chris "iLLuZioN" Current Mood: calm Current Music: Dark Lotus- Walls/ Twiztid-Afraid of Me (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 29th, 2004
10:09 pm	The Weekend Well, my weekend pretty much kiked ass. Friday, Skip came down with Mandy. We rentd House Of 1000 Corpses(which sucked) and GTA: Vice City(which kicks ass!)I stayed up playin video games with Skip until about 3:30 or 4, when I pretty much passed out.Got up at about 9:30 and played sum more video games until Nana came down andtold m to call work.So I called in sick.I felt bad cuz Linda was workin the front, and she's the SHIT, but how often do I see my brother? So,I took about a half a second to go over my priorities, and told her I was throwing up. So, at about 11 me and Skip went to Shun-Feng, across the street from Market Basket, and I bought us all some lunch.I liked it, but Skip said the rice had no taste.Obviously, me and Skip didn't make a trip to Seabrok without making a stop at our favorte store Earwax.We shot the shit with Ron for about 15 minutes, and I bought some comic books of "The Crow". I haven't got to read them, but they look sick.I think i'm going to use the picture on the cover of one of them for a CD cover.Anyway, we went home,ate,played more games(does any1 else see a pattern?)and went to Joe's Playland down Salisbury Beach and played some arcade games. After that we went to Marshalls in Newburyport, which was kind of boring, but I got a fresh ass pair of orange Fubu shorts for $11(when I got them, I didn't know they we pretty much see through)Before I left I ran into my homie Rob Prieto.I feel wicked bad for him cuz he can't smoke,cuz he got busted, and ever since he hasn't seemed as happy, unless he' with Jamie, his girlfriend.Anyway, once we got out of Marshall's we went home and guss what?! We played more video games... WOA! I bet you didn't see that one coming.Did that until asleep. Got up at about 9.Skip and Mandy came up stairs about an hour later, and we watched House Of 1000 Corpses... and you know how that went. Well, after that we brought the XBOX upstairs and we played GTA: Vice City until I had to get ready for work at 2. Work suced cuz it was so packed, but I got to bg for my friend Emily, which was kool. Had to stay an hour later to break down cuz everything was so messed up, which blew even more.Caught a ride home with Brian McNulty, took a shower, and here I am. Feelin nice n' chill.Psyched cuz me,Justin, and Sam Brew r gunna chill next weekend, smoke shum Ganz, and chillizzle. Well, i'm out. Peace and Much Luv!! Chris "iLLuZioN" "To die is all we got, 6 feet-down our bodies rot/As our souls get released, next our carcass lays deceased/Can't get it out of my head, can't get it out of my head/Can't get it out of my head, can't get it out of m head//This is virtuality/Someone explain to me/I keep seing illusions/of living instutions"- V-ICE:"Molton" Current Mood: tired Current Music: V-ICE: Bi-Polar (Tha Weed Song ;-D) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
10:14 pm	Nothin really </td></td></td></td></td> What is your favorite.. gum: Juicy fruit restaurant: Applebees drink: Moon Mist(faygo) season: Summer type of weather: Warm nights emotion: Chill thing to do on a half day: think late-night activity: Writing songs sport: Basketball city: Boston...WHUT! store: Earwax When was the last time you.. cried: can't remember played a sport: yesterday laughed: today hugged someone: today kissed someone: Last month felt depressed: today felt elated: uhhh.... felt overworked: Saturday faked sick: yesterday, for a lil bit lied: today What was the last.. word you said: 3-toed Sloth thing you ate: Cheese burger song you listened to: Synister Life Stylz thing you drank: Water place you went to: Wal-Mart movie you saw: Vulgar movie you rented: Clerks concert you attended: Twiztid-Green Book Tour Who was the last person you.. hugged: Angela cried over: Grandpa kissed: Jess danced with: Jess shared a secret with: Ally had a sleepover with: John-Boy called: Mat went to a movie with: John-Boy saw: My Grams were angry with: Jason Trott couldn't take your eyes off of: Tina obsessed over: never Have you ever.. danced in the rain: no kissed someone: yes done drugs: no drank alcohol: no slept around: no partied 'til the sun came up: no had a movie marathon: yes gone too far on a dare: no spun until you were immensely dizzy: yes taken a survey quite like this before: no The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK! Saw it in Ally's and decided what the hell.Got some new cd's today,V-Ice's Bi-Polar & Necro's Brutality Vol.1. Bi-Polar isn't as much rap as I thought it would be.It's more or less metal. Brutality is fresh so far.SICK beats.Talked to Ally for a while, wrote sum, showered, here I am.And now I am Out. Peace, Chris "iLLuZioN" P.S. SYNISTER MYNDZ IS HERE, SO GET READY BIATCHHH!!!! Current Mood: determined Current Music: Synister Myndz-Synister Life Stylz EP (Comment on this)